UC Bearcats Week 3 Update: Down the Drive

Welcome back, avid following.  The people have screamed out in the streets that they crave for more, and so I have made my triumphant return to the blog.  And by people I mean my mom, and by my triumphant return I mean more of my thoughts bound to be proven useless and impractical.  But hey, Nostradamus wasn't always right either.  He was always right when it came to fine cherry jam though, so he’s got that on me.  Should've called him NostraJAMus. That's the start we're looking for..

First off, I want to thank the two friends of mine who took 10 seconds out of their day to comment on my last blog. With inspirational and encouraging phrases like “Nailed it”, and “You deserved to be kicked out ofthat USF Game”, I have come to understand this old Japanese proverb completely:

“When the character of a man is not clear to you, look at his friends.”

I’m screwed.

As many of you predicted, many of my predictions have not really come to fruition.  My answer to this criticism is simple:  I don’t care.  I wrote the initial blog post to blow off some steam post-work, not channel my inner John Clayton.  Also, who could have predicted a 28 point butt-whippin’ to a team who was 2-10 a year ago?  Even Illinois’s versions of people like me were hoping they could just keep it close. 

Let's talk about what we've seen so far. No lists this time, just pure unadulterated passionate feelings.  And I got a lot of 'em.  Then, we will look out on what the horizon has in store for the Bearcats and wrap it up with a little update on what BK and BJ are up to these days.

Here it is week by week...

Boilermakers... more like Boringmakers 
Cincinnati 42, Purdue 7 

The first game of the year provided so much promise.  The Bearcats shut down any attack Purdue tried to put together, causing QB Rob Henry post-game to tweet he was quitting Twitter.  I was impressed by the physical condition UC showed given a 120 degree temperature on the field that had me drinking waters instead of chugging beers… or maybe it was the other way around.  The amount of pressure the Bearcats were able to put on Henry and the Boringmaker™ run game while only rushing 3 or 4 provided ample opportunities for the ‘Cats secondary and backers to make plays, like these two from Nick Temple and Adrian Witty.  Munchie looked a little better in his progressions, but did still missed some pretty wide open receivers and had two picks, one of which was not really his fault.  Add this to an exciting whited-out crowd in Nippert, and the Bearcats were off to a promising start.

As good as everything seemed to be going, there was still something missing in the run game throughout.  On paper, UC ran for 221 yards and 4 touchdowns on 47 carries, but those numbers look much less impressive when you factor out a 30-yard kick-a-man-while-he’s-down run from Hosey Williams in the fourth quarter, and a dude-we-get-it-already TD from Tion Green.  RDA IV, who this guy predicted would be doing some bad things early on, was contained for only 52 yards and 3.5 a carry.

Even with some of the mistakes and issues we saw during week 1, most fans walked away feeling pretty confident about heading to Champaign to take on the Fighting Illini. And now all I can thnk is: Notre Dame must be pretty bad

The Illini Perform a Champagne Shower on the Bearcats
Illinois 45, Cincinnati 17 L

The only good thing about this game was that it was an away contest and Pitch Perfect was on demand (You’re probably thinking what kind of a guy watches Pitch Perfect. Watch this: gave my roommate Vic "the chills").  The Bearcats came out about as flat as a loaf of bread from Moses’ Exodus and stayed that way until the end of the game. They never really raised their level of play.  Classic yeast joke. **Editor's Note: Top that Nate Winter**

Remember when you thought this was the worst thing that would happen in the game?

Then there was the total lack of discipline on defense.  Generally speaking, you expect to see a team who had won a juggernaut-like two games the previous year to try and beat you with a flurry of trick plays, long throws, and play action.  You don’t expect to see almost all of those things work and lead to easy touchdowns and long gains against a defense that was touted as one of the strongest in its conference heading into the year.  Illinois scored touchdowns on an end around, da bomb (NFL Blitz reference), and a play action walk in from twenty-five yards out.  Few the debauchery here.  If there is a play to sum up the day for the defense, a 3^rd and 19 pass completion to a wide open receiver later in the game will do.  QB Nate "Golden Child" Scheelhaase had 4 touchdowns and led an Illinois offense that gained 522 yards of offense, 300 by air and 200 by land.  I would compare the defensive effort in this game to Swiss Cheese, but in the house of a learned chef I was brought up not to insult cheeses.

How about the offense though? Forget about the fumble on the goal line.  Everyone who thinks this game hinged on that one play forgets that on that same drive UC had three previous tries from the inside the 5 and couldn’t do anything with it.  Running a 160 lb. running back consistently between the tackles, missing open receivers, missing blocking assignments; it felt more like UC was playing pickup in the backyard than actually trying to execute a game plan.  If you are UC, you aren’t going to win a game very often when your you have to throw the ball over 30 times.  And there the was the constant switching of quarterbacks before either could get any sort of rhythm.

The team isn’t built to succeed via air attack before you began the quarterback shuffle. And then obviously there was this, which everyone remembers but wishes they didn’t.  If you are squeamish or faint of heart, do not watch this video.  Here’s to hoping Munchie does have a full and fast recovery.  I never really liked his play all that much, but you never want to see something like that happen to a man who by all accounts was becoming a team leader.  Kay came in and didn't do anything better. Out-hustled, outplayed, and out-coached, UC loaded the buses after a 45-17 final.

Northwestern State...
Cincinnati (W 66-9)

This game provided an awesome chance for UC to rebound against a team from Louisiana who apparently wishes they were a part of the Union.  I would give you a recap, but telling you I remember a single play from this beating would be like me telling you Mantei Te’o had game with the ladies.  Nevertheless, it was good to get some of the frustration of the Illinois loss out against a bunch of small children.

Yay for Kay

Short n Sweet

It's time for Kay to step up as thee leader of this team and be the qb he was in December last year.  It's time for Greg Blair to get mean and for he and his linebackers to actually bring some blitzes every now and then.  And seriously, Tommy T, let's put together a game plan that doesn't involve sleep walking through a first half. 

On to the next three for the 'Cats.  And you couldn't ask for a sorrier bunch.  

1. At Miami

Ah yes, the annual Battle for the Victory Bell.  I have to say, there are few things I remember more fondly than traveling up the road to Oxford to take on the Redhawkskins.  And generally it has nothing to do with the football game.  I am going to go out on a limb and say there is no student base in the entire country that cares less about its football program than Miami.  I actually had to leave the stadium and hit up High Street if I wanted to see my buddies who went there (you know it’s true Vange).

Someone better do this baby Texas Tech bell ringer justice

Miami is coming off back-to-back embarrassing losses to Marshall by 38 and Kentucky (not Western) by 34.  They did have a bye-week to rest up, which probably means they had an extra week to wonder why they decided to play football in Miami in the first place.  Seriously question though, what makes a young kid want to go to a school who gets pounded on a weekly basis?  Is there something I don’t understand about taking it from behind by the Thundering Herd (gotta be a great porno title in there somewhere) that excites you? 

UC has won 7 straight and should win this game handily and all of us at the game should be able to enjoy at least one Mindprobe at Skippers’ before we head back home peacefully…. Or maybe do what Miami does.

2. At University of South Florida

USF might just be the most depressing team in the AAC.  And that’s saying something, because there is enough sadness going around this conference to for 8 Old Yeller sequels.

Let's take a look at their season so far:

First, they were Embarrassed by McNeese State

And then they put up 6 pts against Michigan State

And finally, they lost 28-10 to Florida Atlantic

If UC doesn’t win by 20 I will “Munchie Legoff” myself.  Too soon?

3. Home against Temple

Finally, a worthy opponent comes to Nippert to take on our fearless Bear… oh wait, they’re 0-3 and lost to Fordham last week?  Damn.

Cincy sends the Owls back to Philadelphia with another L to their impressive resume.

And Finally...

Ex-Girlfriend Watch: 
Butch Jones and Brian Kelly Update

I thought it might be great to keep you guys up to date on our two former coaches.  A detailed analysis to follow:

Update 1: They both still suck

That does it for the 3 week edition.  Stay tuned for more incessant ramblings and dumb photos in the next few weeks, and as always, S'GO CATS.